What should first-time diners know before ordering lobster?

I wrote this when I first experienced eating lobster and having it ordered for me by myself for the first time. I held the menu for about 4 minutes while studying it before putting it down and nodding at the waiter after he asked for our order. The lobster that the waiter had brought to our table was wearing its own shell on it like a suit, and I was extremely nervous and scared shitless.

First of all let’s dispel a few myths about lobster. Generally lobster is considered to be “special occasion” food – it’s often seen to be the culinary equivalent of a black-tie dinner, only served on rare occasions. However, the reality is that there is no reason why lobster cannot be a regular feature on the menu at any coastal restaurant, and after you have stripped away the “expensive food” tag, lobster is a very satisfying piece of seafood.

What does lobster actually taste like?

As I mentioned earlier the flavor of lobster is sweet, it tastes a bit like prawns however the texture is firmer then prawns and holds together very well even when it is cooked and left to cool. The flavor is very mild and sweet with a slight hint of brininess. After this flavor is very rich so it has a taste that is almost buttery like. This flavor can be detected even before any butter is added to the lobster.

Lobster tail meat is usually the sweetest part of the lobster and will have the cleanest flavor, due to the least amount of corruption from the rest of the body. Claw meat from lobsters with claws (Sawvers) are softer than body meat but are just as sweet and perhaps even better in their own right. The very best part of the claw is at the joints of the two claws that connect to the body. These are small and difficult to extract from the shell but are definitely worth the trouble.

But then again, there are some lobsters that are better than others. By far the best lobsters are caught in cold clean water, pulled from the ocean on the day they are cooked and served simply with a squeeze of lemon and a side of drawn butter. It is impossible to improve on such lobsters. But then again, there are some pretty terrible lobsters out there too. The ones that are swimming around in a dirty tank of a restaurant, pulled out weeks in advance of when they are going to be cooked. And then there are the claws, pulled from an animal that didn’t have any. And the difference that you can taste between lobsters that have been pulled from dirty tanks and lobsters that have been pulled from cold clean water, is huge. This is why it is so worth while to seek out the best restaurants that serve the freshest highest quality lobsters.

The serving styles, decoded

Steamed Lobstered lobsters have their claws tied up with string. Half a lobster is presented to you with the meat pulled out from the shell and often placed on the plate in sections.

• Whole steamed or boiled lobster: The classic. Comes with crackers, picks, and usually a bib you’ll feel faintly ridiculous wearing. Messy, interactive, deeply satisfying. Best suited to casual, relaxed settings where nobody cares if butter gets on your sleeve.
• Lobster tail: Just the tail meat, typically grilled or baked. Tidier, more manageable, and a reasonable choice if you’re at a formal dinner and don’t want to spend twenty minutes wrestling with claws while wearing a white shirt.
• Lobster roll: Cold with mayo, or warm with butter, served in a toasted split-top bun. This is entry-level lobster in the absolute best sense of that phrase. Low intimidation factor, high reward.
• Lobster bisque: A thick, rust-colored soup that somehow tastes more like lobster than lobster does. Outstanding as a starter when you want a real taste before committing to a full order.

If you’re worried about having a total lobster disaster then start off with a lobster roll or some lobster bisque. This will allow you to see if you like lobsters without having to tackle a whole animal. But if you are up for the challenge then go ahead and order a whole lobster. It’s a lot of fun to eat, and you’ll be very pleased with yourself after.

The sides question, and why most people overthink it

But as I alluded to previously, most rich foods benefit from ‘cutting’ or contrasting sides. Rich pasta dishes benefit from light, oil free sauces and rich and buttery side dishes are best to offset by healthy dose of steamed vegetables etc. For reasons I am not quite sure of, this is not the case for Lobster. A perfectly prepared whole Lobster will be greatly diminished by heavy, rich, oil infused or overly buttery side dishes. And while simple drawn butter is the classic and arguably best side, fresh lemon, coarse salt, coleslaw made with a good amount of vinegar, grilled corn, a simple green salad of crisp lettuce washed in cold water and nothing else all greatly enhance the lobster while not muddying the individual elements of the Lobster.

You will need something to mop up the buttery goodness of the lobster with. Loads of bread is the answer.

(Chablis, Muscadet or Pinot Grigio are good white wines for serving with lobster. Chill well and be fairly acidic).

See also: Selank Benefits and Where to Buy

Practical Stuff Before You Sit Down Down

1. Ask the server how it’s prepared. A simple “how do you recommend I order this?” surfaces options the menu buries and makes the whole interaction less fraught than it needs to be.
2. Don’t be precious about the tools. Crackers, picks, and scissors exist for a reason. Use them without apology. Nobody impressive-looking is judging you.
3. Dress with some awareness. Or at minimum, tuck your napkin in. Lobster butter moves with alarming speed and ambition.
4. Eat it warm, eat it immediately. Cold lobster that’s been left to sit loses something essential, some quality that doesn’t come back. If it arrives and you’re mid-story, pause the story.

The mistake that quietly ruins it

The worst sin when it comes to eating lobster is over-saucing. We are talking here of every drop of lemon, of every dollop of butter, of every pour of additional sauce over the meat. And believe me it can and does add up. I mean at the end of the day you are eating what can be very expensive pieces of lobster and instead of being able to taste the sweetness of the lobster you are left with the taste of olive oil and fish stock and maybe even some mayonnaise. It is a travesty. So I urge you to make a point of eating lobster without any sauce at all first. I mean have a little piece plain first and see what all the fuss is about. And then from there you can add what you think your lobster might need. I mean considerably less than you first assumed is for sure.

First eat it plain. Then it can be determined whether any embellishments are required.

Most of the time the answer is: considerably less than you assumed.

Serving style	Best for	Mess level	First-timer rating
Whole steamed lobster	The full, unfiltered experience	High	Go for it if you’re feeling bold
Lobster tail	Formal dinners, clean eating	Low	Very approachable
Lobster roll	Casual spots, first-timers	Medium	Start here, honestly
Lobster bisque	A taste before fully committing	None	Excellent entry point

There is really only one obstacle to enjoying lobster, and that’s intimidation. Most people would be surprised at how little there really is to eating lobster that could be seen as intimidating. For starters, there’s little intimidation in picking up a clean bowl of lobster sitting on a nice table cloth with two glasses. But for some unknown reason, once you’ve finished eating the lobster and you’ve put the bowl down, wiped your hands and gone to the sink to wash them, there’s this sense of ‘what was all that?’. And you’re usually left feeling annoyed that you let fear get the better of you.